Thursday, July 7, 2011

Today is the day for the hiring of whores apparently

Marketing Assistant for the Admiral Theatre
We are looking for a marketing assistant. Job is to take care of social networking and industry contacts as well as help with special events.

We are a Gentlemen's it is important that you are comfortable working in this sort of environment. Job requires you to work Thursday-Sat 8p-4a. Your weekends are gone as we basically need you to be on site when we are busiest to extract information from our customer base. The hours and pay are non-negotiable. You do make a few tips from the parties that you put together but nothing huge. This job is perfect for any college students looking to learn about marketing and nightclub marketing in a fun, real world environment.  Compensation: $9 an hour.


it should be noted that this is the club that placed a HUGE billboard on Lincoln and Addison with the charming tagline: 'why see only half?'

so to recap:  sleaze club, no weekends, no tips, no negotiations and it would be best if you were still in college.

oh yeah, pay is fucking $9 an hour (obv.).


UPDATE (11/29):  HAHAHAHAHAHA they're still looking!!!

Asshole executive hiring professional whore with no baggage

Personal Assistant Needed (Downtown)

Busy media executive is seeking a superstar personal assistant with no baggage, but likes to travel. An attractive female is preferred, whose personality can make a good impression with corporate executives. MUST have superior skills with a PC and Mac, understands the power of social networking, honesty and can take responsibility for their own actions. Above average salary commensurate with experience! Please send a recent photo along with a resume, so we can put a face with a name. Contact via email only:

i should apply, no?

and yeah, that's the real e-mail...  i leave the rest to you.

IMMEDIATE POSSITION: part time Office manager

not much to add here really, except:

$9 to start

and of course the obligatory asshole requirement after making 'excellent English' error:

* Ability to articulate ideas in a clear, concise manner through use of excellent English written and verbal communication skills.